Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud. Mud.

Really. It's not a complaint. It's just a statement of fact. It rains almost everyday here. So, there is so much mud on the trail to the bathroom. I keep cycling between utter acceptance of the mud and complete exasperation at the mud. These cycles fluctuate often on the walk to the toilet or shower. It's most annoying after showering. I've also been here long enough to get sort of weird about the food. It's delicious, but sometimes, I just want to eat on the couch. Not walk lots of some distance to eat. That's complaining.

But I feel like I have to complain just to feel sort of normal. I've really taken to the Kundalini yoga and it increases feelings of ecstasy. So, mostly I'm pretty blissful. Until I have to pee in the middle of the night. I hold it in mostly which isn't good, but these are the things that you live with when you live outside.

My tent, Hilary, feels very much like a home. I've moved in more here than I have anywhere in my memory. I have a futon now. I futon on a frame. A friend gave it to me for the summer so she could sleep on the earth. We're both very happy with the arrangement.

Now, I've dived more deeply into the personal transformation work. I'm getting over the crush incident and finding myself kind of in love with my yoga teacher. It fascinates me. I think the two are related. I have a mission statement. I work to control my breathing. And I'm in a band that I really don't care about. It's a silly thing. One member is very invested in it. She's writing songs. I'm more comfortable singing in public now than I have in a while. But I don't really relish the idea of singing songs about vegetarian food. I've done that before. Death Tarte, anyone?

There's a sweatlodge tonight I'm working, but am finding that I'm working through my intent as if I'm going anyway. I go on long walks. I get up before for and climb up hill to do yoga. I feel like I do more in one day here than I did in a week before. I can't believe I've been here three weeks.

Three weeks ago I arrived with a pedicure and a manicure and enough stuff to last me for five months. Now I'm a hippie who lives in the mud. I have never been happier.