When Was the Last Time You Danced?

Okay. The magical moments at this place really rack up. Tonight, I danced outside with a bunny while working. Between the outbursts of dancing, I cleaned toilets. I had a wonderful time. The moon is almost full and hidden ever so slightly behind a veil of clouds. It's chilly here more like mid-fall or spring than almost summer. So dancing barefoot in swinging pink pants to "Pretty Young Thing" while a little bunny tries to come near and then retreats. Near and then runs away.

I love intense conversations, and had many today. Today I attended my first real workshop. It's about awakening my power as a woman. What I find interesting is that although each of us comes from very different backgrounds and our methods vary, we kind of want the same thing. But then again, we don't. It's interesting, but I'm sure I'll get what I need and seek from the workshop. I am supposed to be here. Beautiful, beatific yoga boys with their long hugs and intense, non-threatening gazes. Women of all different shapes and sizes, comfortably being in whatever they choose to wear. The bountiful rows of delicious vegetarian food. Why is it so easy to myself here? Sure, I'm myself at home, but I notice how much I censure myself. How part of me still views myself and my life as if I still slept. When in fact, I have spent the better part of three years trying not to believe that I am blessed beyond comprehension and alive and lucky and so, so grateful. I can't believe I had the nerve to ask why!

That's why I was so eager to get rid of everything or as much as I could before I left. Very little of what I own or how lived before was very honest. I've spent too much time trying to stuff the person I am into the person I used to be's life. I guess everyone does it, but who can go back to trying to seem like they were after dancing under a thinly veiled moon with a rabbit? Not me. Not me.