The Moth/Mo Idiocy

It's almost been a week since I got here, and I've gotten quite good at the removal of bugs from my tent. I can grab a mosquito by the leg, open the tent a few inches and send it out into the wild to bite another day. Unless they only live a day. All I need now is a pair of chopsticks, and then look out. I'll catch flies and start calling everyone grasshopper and have a wonderful time. Or so I thought until last night. Last night, I did not spend the night alone.

I got in late. I watched My Big Fat Greek Wedding with some fellow Omegaians. It was nice. It was after midnight. Woo hoo! Tired. I was tired. I had laughed really hard that day. For an hour. And then I watched a funny movie. I did laundry. I arranged to move my tent. Things were hopping. I was eager to settle into the ground and have myself a good sleep. And then I saw him.

This moth. This wood colored moth. He was pretty. I give him that, but I was tired. I just wanted to go to sleep. All I could think of was that he was going to fly into my moth or my nose or both and do mothy things to my eyes while I slept. He was going to drink my body oil and take my cellphone and make calls and do all sorts of annoying things that unwanted tent guests are proned to do. I was determined to get him out. And quickly.

So, headlamp wrapped on my head, I tried to catch Mothman. I tried cupping him in my hands. It didn't work. I tried catching him in a waterbottle. I tried napkins, clothes, begging, ambushes--you name it. I did it. I even tried to kill him.

"Look, dude, this tent ain't big enough for the both of us. I tried to play nice, but you won't play ball. So, You's gots ta die." I tried to clap him dead.

I swear he looked me dead in the face and/or headlamp and flew right at me. I ran around my tent flapping my arms. The campus is silent after ten, so I was screaming on the inside. I lunged at him again. He lunged at me. This went on for about TWENTY MINUTES. Me trying to talk him down. Him trying to kill me.

I gave up. I slept just fine. Maybe stupid people shouldn't seek enlightenment.