3 Weeks!

I've been here three weeks. In three weeks, I've taken to getting up way before dawn to practice yoga. I have opened up my broken heart in an empathy circle. I surrender to God every morning and each morning my days blossom into something that I couldn't have imagined if I had weeks of preparation. That's a powerful lesson to learn. I've never really trusted the Divine to deliver. I really believed that God helps those who help themselves. And so I did my best. And I waited. And waited. And waited. Then I gave up and lost my mind. Now I wonder if it's possible to be too blessed. Not that I'm complaining, but I look at my life and where I am and have to catch my breath. Today, I went to Wal-Mart. I hate that store. It's too bright. Overwhelming, but I got through it and got some plastic bins because my tent is getting cluttered and for the first time in my whole life I actually care what my living space feels like when I get home at the end of the day. Last night my friend, Kyla, spent the night with me so we could go to yoga together the next day. I watched her marvel at how I live. It's true.

My roughing it isn't very rough. I don't even want it another way. I don't know if I wrote this before, but this part of my life both looks and feels like the part in the fairy tale when the princess lives in the woods and birds and squirrels keep her company and entertained until her prince comes. I live in this cute little green tent with a big double bed futon in it and still have room to walk around. I've figured out how to keep it warm yet keep air ciruclating and I go to sleep the glorious sound of frogs singng. If I'd tried to formulate what would have made me happiest, I would not have guessed this at all. I would have imagined money, a gorgeous man or at least something like that. But as I was talking this morning to my friend, I have everything I asked for in my life.

I have love. I am rich. I live someplace wonderful. Moths tickle my neck. I'm getting to be a very good golf-cart driver even if I get distracted. I sleep well. I dream lovely dreams. This afternoon I rolled down a hill laughing from the core of my being. I know this is only the begining, but even if this is all my life ever is, it's more than enough. I'm that happy. On the reals.

Also, I know it's taking me a long time to respond to the wonderful mail I've gotten here. But trying to find ugly stationary with cow-eyed kittens is proving harder than I'd imagined. Go figure.