No Serpent/No Eden. Go Fig.

And now the messy work of why I came here commences. Yesterday at my Women's Empowerment Guild meeting, a woman opened the meeting with a grounding exercise. She chose to have the group chant, "Nam myo ho renge kyo." Last summer I started chanting that. Twas nice. Just not my bag. But I'm familiar with most spiritual practices. She noticed that I knew that mantra and was eager to chat after class. I had to work. The meeting went on and was nice.

Later, I was in here at the computer posting my blog about magical dancing with bunnies, and she came in to do her oral hygeine. She asked me why I stopped chanting. I told her. I didn't like the high pressure that was being sent my way to join a new religion. I have joined my share of faiths. I'm done. I'm happy with how I see and commune with God. We're cool. Close. The Love flows both ways. It's good stuff. As politely as I could, I explained what didn't click for me and the SGI branch of Buddhism. Basically, you chant the mantra with some goal in mind and then it happens. And you learn from your desires, ideally. Most of the group it seemed was merely chanting for stuff. Don't get me wrong. I want stuff. It's a dark spot in my heart that I really, really want certain things. I'm just happy whether I actually get them or not. It's how I roll.

Anyway, I thought things were cool enough. She told me about how her practice brought wonderful things to her life. I told her about my practice and how I, too, have reaped great things, but that I just wasn't into the chanting. But I did enjoy the chanting yesterday. It was fun. Chanting anything gets the blood going. Wakes one up. I recommend it. Chant anything.

So, we start talking about something else. In walks a boy, a cute one. Just as a side note, they're all cute yoga boys here. All of them. Okay, there are about ten old men and some other guys who just aren't hot, but the vast majority are slammin' cute. Where was I? Oh, yes. My challenge.

Well, she's still doing teeth stuff and I'm still blogging and she asked me if I enjoyed the New Orleans style tofu served at lunch. I did. It was tasty. Like Carolina barbecued chicken. It was served with grits and collards. Likable. Anyway, when I told her apparently my face lit up and she started laughing. I thought nothing of it. I often am moved to giggles when people enjoy themselves and express it. It's a wonderuful thing to behold. Man this post is long.This must really bother me.

She grips her stomach laughing and has me pause to call the boy over and has me tell it again. It turns out that my enjoying it was so funny because he used to live in Nawlin's and thought the idea of tofu seasoned in such a way was absurd. I haven't been laughed at in a long time in a way that bothered me, but this still does.

Tonight Pema Chodron lectured about tonglen meditation. Pema is a Buddhist nun who writes books about how to cope and thrive in these troubled times. Tonglen is the practice of breathing in suffering and breathing out relief. It's a powerful practice. I recommend it to anyone. It's compatible with all religions. It's a great way of opening your heart to compassion.

Well, I'm star struck, listening to the lecture and in walks the girl with an even cuter yoga boy and their all lovey-pie during the lecture. It pissed me off. On many levels. Here not two weeks ago did I get dumped by a guy I never went out with, and I don't make fun of people. I'm earnestly applying the practice to ease the suffering of the world, and I have no man to speak of. Bites the biscuit.

I'm so excited and grateful to be so miffed. Until tomorrow at about 5, we're silent. I'm excited to get into something other than bliss here. The bliss is still here. I'm still happy, happier maybe because now I am reminded why I'm here. To grow. To learn. I could go on and on, but I'll spare the reader and save that for my journal. I haven't had my feelings hurt in a long time. A very long time. Now since the mystery dump, I expect it'll happen more and more. And if I'm to open up and be intimate with anyone, I have to allow it. Being human is a HOOT!